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Jimmy Widdles • Dec 20, 2023
Infant Injections Hit All Time High Due To COVID-19
Concern over infant injections due to covid!
In the wake of a boom in the birth rate resulting from the COVID-19 lockdown, many families have run into an all too familiar and terrifying phenomenon. Ugly babies.
Though the ratio of ugly babies to aesthetically pleasing babies didn’t see a palpable change, the sheer volume of less than attractive newborns naturally increased with the overall number of births. Some proactive parents aren’t taking the situation lying down.
Though other historic options such as Little Liposuction and Fetal Face Lifts are still viable options, they can prove pricey, dangerous, and even cause other appearance defects. For instance, no one wants a baby that looks malnourished or constantly surprised. All too often children that undergo these procedures become addicted, which also is reason for alarm.
That’s where the dedicated staff at Damn That’s an Ugly Baby Institute, LLC come in. Using a “no tears” Botox formula, cringe-worthy children can poop themselves at daycare with dignity and confidence.
Dr. Milton Minekaka has perfected the non-invasive technique to the point that some call him the “Preemie Picasso.” Having spent years at the southern border painstakingly perfecting his approach with countless tests, he’s giving sub-par babies a second chance.
“Am I a hero? Yes.” Dr. Minekaka humbly admits. “That’s irrelevant, though. We are just wanting to save families the embarrassment of going to dinner with a baby that looks like Martin Short.”
To find out more about the DTUBI talk to your pediatrician, your hideous baby will thank you.
Spokespeople for the Secret Service lavished President Biden with praise for his uncanny ability to elude his contemporaries during an impromptu summit at Camp David over the weekend.
In the wake of a boom in the birth rate resulting from the COVID-19 lockdown, many families have run into an all too familiar and terrifying phenomenon. Ugly babies. Though the ratio of ugly babies to aesthetically pleasing babies didn’t see a palpable change, the sheer volume of less than attractive newborns naturally increased with the overall number of births. Some proactive parents aren’t taking the situation lying down. Though other historic options such as Little Liposuction and Fetal Face Lifts are still viable options, they can prove pricey, dangerous, and even cause other appearance defects. For instance, no one wants a baby that looks malnourished or constantly surprised. All too often children that undergo these procedures become addicted, which also is reason for alarm. That’s where the dedicated staff at Damn That’s an Ugly Baby Institute, LLC come in. Using a “no tears” Botox formula, cringe-worthy children can poop themselves at daycare with dignity and confidence. Dr. Milton Minekaka has perfected the non-invasive technique to the point that some call him the “Preemie Picasso.” Having spent years at the southern border painstakingly perfecting his approach with countless tests, he’s giving sub-par babies a second chance. “Am I a hero? Yes.” Dr. Minekaka humbly admits. “That’s irrelevant, though. We are just wanting to save families the embarrassment of going to dinner with a baby that looks like Martin Short.” To find out more about the DTUBI talk to your pediatrician, your hideous baby will thank you.